George Orwell and Me

If George Orwell were alive today, he'd be a blogger.

I don't want to forget when I finally get to writing this, the intimacy, the closeness, the sense of touch I felt as I held both my hands up to my cheek and it felt like one hand went numb and turned into another person’s or entity’s hand.  And as I filled with emotion, I could feel the entity too filling with emotion, letting me know it was here

It was not a solid experience, I didn't see a “GHOST” but it was definitely something, and as it touched me I knew, I wasn’t alone. I knew it had been there with me when I walked around crying last year here in this apartment, I knew it hadn’t been my imagination, the entity really had been reading over my shoulder last few months as I read the news of terrorist attacks, becoming especially Present and Intense during Manchester and London Bridge, and last few days watching footage of Grenfell Tower. 

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As I'm working, in the background a video comes on YouTube describing the opulence of Donald Trump’s life, including a fifty thousand dollar cake at his wedding to Melania and

I feel revulsion coming from the entity, again, always behind me.

Another time, I'm at the sink chopping lettuce when Theresa May is responding to questions about the Grenfell Tower fire as if it were a bad rain storm and I swear I felt the rage coming from the entity all the way from across the room, it was so intense.

Then another time I said out loud to myself, “Oh that's reassuring,” as the Archbishop of Westminster was praying on TV over the Grenfell victims, and again I felt him / it / the entity consoling me.  

Does the entity know I'm also one of the pedophile priest victims? 

Is the entity really George Orwell? 

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Orwell / Blair 

One of the first times I felt its presence was when I was entering a shortcut to the software I use to do transcription of videos for reality TV shows, work that comes in through my email and allows me to live in South Lake Tahoe, though the company I work for is in Burbank.

The software isn’t anything sophisticated, just Word. Every time I come across a word that is repeated often in the interviews I transcribe, I input a shortcut into “Auto Correct” so B F L is beautiful,  U S L is usually, etcetera.  As a result I am able to get down what people say at pretty much the speed at which they speak, a skill that gets me paid by the page while I work over the internet for clients such as Disney and Steven Spielberg.  I am a sub sub sub contractor so never speak to anyone at a studio, in fact I've never even met my boss, she's an entity that comes in through my email with instructions and “have a nice day” signatures with emoticons.

One morning as I was transcribing, the interviewee said the word “festival” and I decided that word had been coming up enough lately to to put it in my software- I opened Auto Correct and typed in  F S V and clicked to make those three letters from now on spell out the word festival.  I made the entry and came back to the manuscript where the letters f s v had magically turned into the word Festival, and I heard what was almost an out rush of breath- an excitement a release behind me that was so intense I felt it.

The entity seems to get really excited at how easy it is to cut and paste and edit with Word software.

He's been fascinated by the whole operation of how I do my job, where I go to my email and find links to download videos to work on them for television shows. 

So I want to capture that moment of intimacy at the opening of this story.

How this started

At 3 AM on June 6, 2017,  I posted on Facebook:

If George Orwell were alive today, he'd be a blogger.

At 3:05:

I hit send on that post [June 6] just as one minute of silence for London Bridge victims started on Sky News streaming on the other laptop, and I swear I felt it so much a part of me I burst into tears and apparently so did he. Sometimes I think George Orwell or some entity like him is here with me in Tahoe, a spiritual presence that nudges me to write what I write.  So I am now entertaining a fantasy that George Orwell is right here with me, he even held my cheek as we watched the minute of silence on Sky News live from England. Now, back to work, I may run with this as a story..

Then commented on my own comment:

.

Kay Ebeling My job is even kinda like Winston Smith's the character in Orwell's 1984. He was rewriting news stories. I transcribe video that ends up on reality TV... OMG I'm even living in isolation in a small northern rural area like Orwell was when he wrote 1984...

I know that George Orwell is not his real name, but the spiritual entity that made Orwell slightly mad and write the things he wrote is perhaps now inhabiting me.

My life and Job DO kind of parallel George Orwell. 
EARLIER that week I wrote:

OK tell me I don't have weird karma. I am in dark of night working on files for Unusual Suspects, a true crime show. This client also produces Blood Relatives and Murder Among Friends. The main reason my family fell apart was a murder/embezzlement in 1997 that could be one of the BR files. The residual effects led to me living here alone in a strange town with this strange job, and here I sit, about to spend 6 hours or so hearing the intimate details of yet another murder that happened recently in America, many of which will never make it to broadcast. But I learn, I learn about the kitchen device the murderer used in shocking ways to ravage her body, I learn the complicated family dynamics that no one will put on television, so strange, so strange, I mean...

Longtime FB friend, Jo in West Virginia, responded:

This is the kind of shit that will turn a mind dark, even if it isn't inclined to be. Be careful. Reality will unhinge a person. And it is a strange life, for sure, where it wraps around in weird squirming coil kind of ways

Kay Ebeling i know that's why I say my karma is so weird that i have to do this

  

Soon posted this thinking it could be beginning of a 21^st century version of  Orwell's 1984

Kay's Consulting, let me guide you through your fall from middle class to poverty, includes therapy to help you accept New Slavery as the only employment available, Plus business strategies for selling your belongings and downsizing, and tips on how to "relocate" not into a homeless shelter but, thanks to our new Chinese partners, Dormitories. Contact me here in a PM. Fees negotiable

(sort of)

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Oh, of course, there was no real George Orwell:

Eric Arthur Blair (25 June 1903 – 21 January 1950), better known by his pen name George Orwell, 

When I went to Wikipedia just now to get his real name, I swear, I could sense it over my shoulder behind me, excited to read what it says on Wikipedia about him. 

This could be the entity that embodied Eric Blair when he wrote his books, about 80 years ago. Now the Orwell entity has come back to Earth curious about what's happening on the planet, and it found me with my two laptops going almost 24 hours a day streaming live news up here on a mountain top in Tahoe, plus for my job I'm transcribing videos for TV shows, which any journalist ghost would find fascinating. 

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Of course the ghost of Orwell would want to hang around here, it's an interesting human habitation.  He / it may have even been drawn to this location while passing the planet because of Facebook posts I put up earlier:

Posted Jan 07, 2017

The USA was attacked, successfully, through video monitor screens. Wow, it really is sci-fi come to life. Orwell. 1984 accelerated

And later in January: 

The only reason for Trump to keep doing those rallies is to keep the mesmerized mesmerized. Then those people go into the world being Very Useful Fools. Did George Orwell write this?

Both of which could have been written by the entity who was George Orwell last century. 

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So now that I think of it, if George Orwell / Eric Blair were alive today he probably would be a blogger. And he’d be posting updates such as I just posted today:

TUESDAY, JUNE 20, 2017

Being attacked from within

We have to stop thinking of this as a real presidency and accept that it's a coup, they [Saudi/putin?] installed this president to destroy us and everything we stand for, and they are getting away with it, bk we keep expecting Trump to act American. He's a puppet and we are becoming a colony, and if you think of it that way, everything they are doing makes sense. You can stop wasting time trying to make them do it right, and get to the real job of FIGHTING them as we are under attack from within

Trump is taking payments and getting rich off Presidency as that is part of deal he struck, he just has to dance like a clown and destroy the USA, and his reputation, and in exchange the coup lets him make as much money off it as he can. 

Then Trump will end up in Eastern Europe with a villa that does not even have a road leading to it.

So, nice having you around, Orwell, or, well, whoever you are.

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Kay Ebeling wish I had a writing partner, or editor... a human one

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Posted by Kay Ebeling 

Really