Every Time trump does another horrible thing destroying our nation and doing permanent damage, the pain strikes all over my body like razors and knives, from a 1 to a 9 in a flash.
I have neuropathic pain, been living with it since 1995 conversation with my sister that confirmed she too had been molested by Father Horne, meaning my memories were real. The total body Pain entered my body at that moment and has never left, it's always underlying in my nerve endings so just under the skin, 24 hours a day in different amounts. That's why I rest a lot.
I have neuropathic pain, been living with it since 1995 conversation with my sister that confirmed she too had been molested by Father Horne, meaning my memories were real. The total body Pain entered my body at that moment and has never left, it's always underlying in my nerve endings so just under the skin, 24 hours a day in different amounts. That's why I rest a lot.
I bring up the
pain now because Trump Hurts.
*
I feel
this knife like pain when Trump takes another hateful act as President, it hurts me all the way down to
my soul.
There's a psychological element to the pain, I've always accepted that, because when I get real sad it gets worse AND to be honest, if I let go and cry or let out a huge laugh at a story, I also get a wonderful flush of pain relief. The brain manages the nervous system, so I accepted a long time ago the connection between the brain and neuropathic pain, bk when my sister said, "He got to you too," I had a physical reaction, shock- I remember I kind of flew in the air and bumped against a wall... it was shock and left me with chronic pain caused by PTSD, then wrote about the pedophile priest issue (see Roots in left hand column) which helped.
Today I even try to “think nice thoughts” as just being angry or depressed makes the pain worse, and producing endorphins is analgesic.
*
On a daily basis I think how can I leave Trump's USA, what other country can I go to and change my citizenship.
But I can't do that. I'm an American and even though I didn't vote for The Donald and tried to show other people not to, it's still my karma to live through this. I did support the USA in past decades, I voted for H. W., I served in the Naval Air Reserves, although main thing I did was … stuff I can't even write about here. It was not pretty. And I probably wouldn't have been willing to do it if I hadn't been so sexually screwed up because of the priest, still I did it and then continued to support my country and be an American, so. . .
There's a psychological element to the pain, I've always accepted that, because when I get real sad it gets worse AND to be honest, if I let go and cry or let out a huge laugh at a story, I also get a wonderful flush of pain relief. The brain manages the nervous system, so I accepted a long time ago the connection between the brain and neuropathic pain, bk when my sister said, "He got to you too," I had a physical reaction, shock- I remember I kind of flew in the air and bumped against a wall... it was shock and left me with chronic pain caused by PTSD, then wrote about the pedophile priest issue (see Roots in left hand column) which helped.
Today I even try to “think nice thoughts” as just being angry or depressed makes the pain worse, and producing endorphins is analgesic.
*
On a daily basis I think how can I leave Trump's USA, what other country can I go to and change my citizenship.
But I can't do that. I'm an American and even though I didn't vote for The Donald and tried to show other people not to, it's still my karma to live through this. I did support the USA in past decades, I voted for H. W., I served in the Naval Air Reserves, although main thing I did was … stuff I can't even write about here. It was not pretty. And I probably wouldn't have been willing to do it if I hadn't been so sexually screwed up because of the priest, still I did it and then continued to support my country and be an American, so. . .
It's my karma
now to live through this, and feel the Trump attack at a deep visceral
level.
*
*
By Kay Ebeling
actively resting
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