Maybe I was not that bad after all

Looking back on my life, I often bemoan how many jobs I lost, how many organizations made it real clear they did not want me around. For long times these experiences would cause me sadness; I’d wonder what is wrong with me.

Only lately at age 75 looking back on those same times do I realize, bad guys don’t want honest people around. When people are getting away with a con, last thing they want is an intuitively nosey journalist poking around asking questions, and that's what I do, that's what I am. All my life I conjured my way to the inner circles and top levels of places just from a natural born instinct I've always had to dig up the truth and expose dishonesty.
Maybe since I was a sex crime victim at age five – six, alertness to danger implanted itself in my DNA. At age 6 your cells are still forming, so mine formed with an inherent distrust, making me hyper sensitive of potential perpetrators from that age on.
So all my life criminal types didn't want me around, and I finally realize that's not something I should feel bad about. I feel bad about being lonely in my old age, yeah, but I was never purposely bad. I just live on a planet full of bad people who I'd rather not be around.