When I think about this stuff, I have a physical reaction. My lips seem to swell and a sensuality washes over me. I'm not speaking for any other pedophile victim, but the effect the crime had on me was to arouse me. Sexualize is the word I first heard in a therapist office when I first started dealing with the effects of being molested by a Catholic priest from Age 5 to 6. I was sexualized, aroused, at age five, so early it implanted itself in my still-growing cells, from then on oversexuality was in my DNA.
At one point my mom had to run in and pick me up and carry me out of the room to stop me from bouncing up and down on a man who had me in his lap and I swear I was having a 7-year-old girl orgasm without knowing what it was. As soon as I hit puberty, I set out to experience it again, aggressively. Read about it here in my other online book, Chapter 2: https://cityofangelslady.blogspot.com/2024/09/prologue.html
So now, as this memory of an encounter with James Mason in 1967 or 8 unfolds, I think the feelings coming up are universal. Risky sexual attraction has been around since the dawn of time and is so common, that pedophilia is a statistical norm. I think almost every old man feels sexual attraction to nubile Young girls, or boys, and I think young girls and boys who are exposed to sex at too young an age are often, like I was, very willing to go along with it, laughing giggling jumping up and down half undressed- like it’s something I was pre-programmed to do.
After reporting on the molesting Catholic priests crisis for more than 10 years on these blogs, CofA 1-12, I came to the conclusion that the only way to keep your children safe from attack by a pedophile is to never take your eyes off of them, because the Predators are everywhere. This is planet Earth, it ain't paradise.
I'm going into the index now to look up what he said about filming the movie Lolita; because the one thing I've read that he wrote about it so far, he seemed to be in a kind of denial, like he didn't understand why people didn't go to the movie when, as I remember 1962, people were shocked at the content of the film.
In the book it seems Mason thinks bad reactions were because they should have cast somebody younger or older for the role of Lolita; he doesn't even seem to see anything wrong with the sex between The Old Man and the 12-year-old girl in Nabokov's book or as in the film 14. I will continue reading as I write, but one more point:
In 1962 I was 14, the age Lolita was in the film released in 1962.
But enough of this weird circularity, for now, more coming soon.
Chapters
IT STARTED HERE:
Memoir The weird circularity of my life means abrupt memories of being sex trafficked at age 19 in 1967 can just pop into my head.
https://cityofangels25.blogspot.com/2025/12/memoir-weird-circularity-of-my-life.html
“into my mind popped a memory
To here
Was he the man I was trafficked to in 1967? He'd shown me a book he was writing, his life story, with drawings. I checked on Amazon and there, 1 copy left, was his autobiography w drawings, in used good condition. It arrives Feb 4, and I'll know for sure.
Who was that mystery man?
https://cityofangels25.blogspot.com/2026/01/who-was-that-mystery-man.html
THEN
I was trafficked to James Mason Lolita star in late 1960s, this story is in development
https://cityofangels25.blogspot.com/2026/02/i-was-trafficked-to-james-mason-lolita.html
I am not saying James Mason was a predator or rapist, but who was the Ghislaine Maxwell-like Australian woman who delivered me to him?
https://cityofangels25.blogspot.com/2026/02/james-mason-not-predator-or-rapist.html
I was so naive, I thought I was in a relationship with James Mason. Only this week I realized I was trafficked to him; in fact Epstein stories gave me the word "trafficked" to describe the experience
She left me with the phone bill https://cityofangels25.blogspot.com/2026/02/i-was-so-naive-i-thought-i-was-having.html
********
by Kay Ebeling
ONWARD
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