I get to feeling sorry for myself a lot because I'm so broke, I live on less than 1,400 a month, and I became crippled in late 2022 so bad that I just never go anywhere. I stay home all the time and since March I haven't even gone down to the lobby of the senior housing building where I live, the crippling is so bad.
I live in a town where it's so much fun to go out- just walking around South Lake Tahoe is an experience. I did that almost every day in the first 8 years I lived in this resort city and then my legs gave out.
As corny as it sounds, when I look at what other people in the world are going through, I realize I have to be grateful. I managed to get myself into subsidized housing before I got too old and frail to earn money.
So even though my income is shockingly low, my rent is less than $300 a month.
The government mandates the building gets maintained, it's clean, it's landscaped, there's trees outside my window that are growing bigger every year which means they provide more shade as it gets hotter and hotter.
When I first moved in here my income was about 2,000 a month which makes a big difference And back then I was paying around $500. most of that income was lost in 2023 thanks to AI taking over transcription.
but you know what- I was working so hard and feeling so much like a robot doing transcription and the pay had barely gone up from the 1990s to 2023 when I stopped doing it.
As corny as it sounds, I often say to myself well at least I don't live in Gaza. As corny as it sounds I'm almost glad I'm home bound like it or not, because humans have become astonishingly mean and violent here in the United States and as an old lady on my own, I'm probably better off just staying inside.
Cameras point around the property here, and the doors to enter the building are always blocked.
My birthday is next Saturday. I'll be officially 78 starting my 79th year. My last days on Earth are drawing to a close and I am so glad I have this journal/ blog to make it more tolerable because I really am living in DIY hospice right now.
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