Degradation is a form of torture USA performed in Abu Graib. Our current president is a weapon of information warfare, hitting Americans daily with shame and humiliation. None of these shocking embarrassing acts by Trump is happening by accident.
Monday, June 4, 2018
tortured americans
Producing City of Angels Blog since Jan. 2007, first as coverage of the pedophile priest crisis in the Catholic Church as one of the survivors, then 30 other topics at CofA 1-30
Saturday, June 2, 2018
Personal stuff while I pack for another move
My life is an endless test flight. I keep taking off, going into uncharted territory, holding on as the shaking vehicle rumbles me to a stable place. Then I land, cruise for a while, looking for the next takeoff point. But today the vehicle is ready to make a landing, and it looks like this “senior” place near Tahoe airport will let me in. Still I have some low lying foliage to get through before I hit the landing site, and there still could be a bomber on my right or left, so I have to stay alert, still. The vehicle is capable to take off again, it really needs maintenance, but if it has to, I will take off again and head north, may drop off some weight in Reno and switch to a lighter transport device. Next few days I'm just coasting above the foliage, preparing for the next acceleration. Wherever I end up, the materials inside have to be boxed up. Or when I take off on next flight, I'll lose too much of the few assets I'm carrying.
*
*
Settling in to watch the deconstruction of my nation, stopping myself from posting more harangues about the newest Trump act. I had the joy of transcribing an hour long interview with Dinesh D’Souza a while back, and because of today’s “pardon” just hearing D’Souza’s voice on a news clip today gives me the visceral sense memory of the horror I felt as I worked in my room on that job, hearing what was in the depths of that man’s soul.
When not transcribing, I have spent last three years hitting my keyboard at every new shock of the Trump administration, dating back to before his coup overtook the 2016 election.
It does no good. It's like asking my alcoholic neighbor next door to let me get the sleep I need during the day. Approaching Trumpsters with logic being clear and concise with facts does not work. The person on the receiving end of your communication is not going to hear you, no matter what you say. Instead you can expect a knee-jerk response, sound bites straight from the President or Fox News. Or now, Dinesh D’Souza. The stranglehold over information in USA is uncanny.
Something has made half of Americans into zombies, the rest of us are just starting to figure out how to deal with it, and for me approaching age seventy, what is there to do other than hunker down, secure in place.
At some point someone will have to do more. But in meantime, watching Trump deconstruct things as critical as the CIA and FBI makes me feel… intimidated scared. Who is going to step into those agencies and what are they going to do?
A power greater than me or even my local congressman is in charge, and letters to the editor at this point are a waste of energy. I have to pack for my next move in two weeks. I'm still leaving open the option of Canada but will probably just go into senior housing, protected by HUD, while it still exists.
There, I'm going into listening mode. Real journalists keep their own mouths shut and just listen. Time for me to assume that persona for a while.When not transcribing, I have spent last three years hitting my keyboard at every new shock of the Trump administration, dating back to before his coup overtook the 2016 election.
It does no good. It's like asking my alcoholic neighbor next door to let me get the sleep I need during the day. Approaching Trumpsters with logic being clear and concise with facts does not work. The person on the receiving end of your communication is not going to hear you, no matter what you say. Instead you can expect a knee-jerk response, sound bites straight from the President or Fox News. Or now, Dinesh D’Souza. The stranglehold over information in USA is uncanny.
Something has made half of Americans into zombies, the rest of us are just starting to figure out how to deal with it, and for me approaching age seventy, what is there to do other than hunker down, secure in place.
At some point someone will have to do more. But in meantime, watching Trump deconstruct things as critical as the CIA and FBI makes me feel… intimidated scared. Who is going to step into those agencies and what are they going to do?
A power greater than me or even my local congressman is in charge, and letters to the editor at this point are a waste of energy. I have to pack for my next move in two weeks. I'm still leaving open the option of Canada but will probably just go into senior housing, protected by HUD, while it still exists.
I still have that option of Canada open, haven't signed the lease yet.
Still feeling hinky like something could go wrong and I'll be on the street with no option but Reno in 2 weeks. Will feel better when I sign that lease. I'll be able to save cash living there. Then go to Canada...
Still feeling hinky like something could go wrong and I'll be on the street with no option but Reno in 2 weeks. Will feel better when I sign that lease. I'll be able to save cash living there. Then go to Canada...
*
The older you get, the less people your age there are around. So Now I get why seniors move into housing with other seniors. Life shuffles and bangs us around. If you manage to make it to seventy, you want to regroup to be with the other survivors.
*
Moving helps. You leave bad feelings behind with the dirtying rugs and dust gathering in corners. You carefully pack the things you want to take with you, even clean them better than usual before wrapping them in paper and placing them in a new clean U-Haul box. You know next time you see that little statue, you will be unpacking it in a new clean place.
Just now a memory from 2015 popped up on Facebook, me crying about Lizzie. Today as I saw the Facebook “memory,” I did not go right into crying, like I did all the time three years ago. Somehow I’d left those tears behind two apartments back and now another move makes all that sadness even farther away.
Moving often helps.
Just now a memory from 2015 popped up on Facebook, me crying about Lizzie. Today as I saw the Facebook “memory,” I did not go right into crying, like I did all the time three years ago. Somehow I’d left those tears behind two apartments back and now another move makes all that sadness even farther away.
Moving often helps.
*
In the news, two chubby dictators join hands over Happy Meals, North Korea sees McDonalds and KFC as a great way to create jobs for its people unlike the nukes, which are dirtying their landscape. Soon there will be a Disney Nuke Theme Park built on the remains of NK weapons caches.
*
RANT: It's almost over.
Spent last 2 afternoons listening to the Banshee on crack next door shouting, not willing to go outside and ask her to stop bk it does no good and I'm moving in 2 weeks or so only have that much longer to put up with it. BUT I know it's affected my health, never sleeping more than 4 hours in 2 plus years, isn't this a torture technique. It astounds me that no one will do anything about it. She's drunk but she knows what she's doing. When someone complains about the noise, she's upstairs in the bedroom of the "building manager" for a few hours and then 2 days later she's outside drunk shouting again. Nothing happens. The "manager" seems to be drunk too just quieter, and apparently getting blown so what does he care. It astounds me that a 70 year old woman like me who still has to work nights and needs sleep, also has to live next door to this, and no one does anything about it. My heart races as I lie there wishing she'd shut the fuck up. Meanwhile in 2 years I've lived here, she's gone from blond to stringy gray, same dead strands hanging on her face, which has gone from kind of pretty to a fright mask. Two more weeks and I'll be with people who care about each other, in a building managed where drunken hollering tenants are the ones who have to move out. It'll be over soon and going outside and hollering at her does no good at all. Talking to her kindly does no good either. Once she's drunk she's drunk and nothing else matters. Except that she has to YELL to everyone who walks by about what a fun time she's having. People move in, get fed up, and move out. I think the landlord keeps her here bk they make money by then keeping desperate running tenants' security deposits. They will make a good grand on me, bk I'm leaving as soon as I can and I've paid well into June rent. Plus they have a 2-months security deposit I gave when I moved in, I'll probably never see it. That's the business model all over USA now. There is nothing in my lease about how the deposit will be returned. Can't wait to check out of this shit hole, literally, where if you flush your toilet paper, the shit comes up from a hole in front of your door. Aargh, people are making money off of this building, a company in China owns it, YAY USA hope I can just tune out the rest of the city once I get in Senior Housing. I'll see my neighbor now and then bk the bus passes near here. I'll watch her wrinkle and age and get a snarlier look on her face over the next year. but soon I won't have to listen to her BS billowing in my window and filling my life with her chaos, shouting with several people around her going waaawaa waa agreeing with her. She is a perpetual motion machine that keeps drugs and booze in her house by keeping people from the street in her house. Soon I won't have to witness this anymore, yeah. Last few days it's been especially bad bk she goes after visiting children like a Grimm's Fairy Tale witch. Those tenants will likely move out next month too, bk no one will do anything about the crazy drunk lady who literally CRASHES family events other tenants are trying to have and starts touching and playing with the children. Can't wait to go where I don't have to witness this anymore.
Yesterday other tenants were trying to have a family party and there was Banshee on Crack hollering and singing getting right in the middle of it going "ring around the rosy" with the children. I don't get why people let her near their kids. It literally makes me sick can't wait will have my move in date today I think.
I think those kids will have nightmares about her the rest of their life. This woman looks like a cat who's been run over and somehow got up and kept going. She reeks of stale cigarettes and malt liquor
She looks like the momma in Throw Momma from the Train, literally.
Spent last 2 afternoons listening to the Banshee on crack next door shouting, not willing to go outside and ask her to stop bk it does no good and I'm moving in 2 weeks or so only have that much longer to put up with it. BUT I know it's affected my health, never sleeping more than 4 hours in 2 plus years, isn't this a torture technique. It astounds me that no one will do anything about it. She's drunk but she knows what she's doing. When someone complains about the noise, she's upstairs in the bedroom of the "building manager" for a few hours and then 2 days later she's outside drunk shouting again. Nothing happens. The "manager" seems to be drunk too just quieter, and apparently getting blown so what does he care. It astounds me that a 70 year old woman like me who still has to work nights and needs sleep, also has to live next door to this, and no one does anything about it. My heart races as I lie there wishing she'd shut the fuck up. Meanwhile in 2 years I've lived here, she's gone from blond to stringy gray, same dead strands hanging on her face, which has gone from kind of pretty to a fright mask. Two more weeks and I'll be with people who care about each other, in a building managed where drunken hollering tenants are the ones who have to move out. It'll be over soon and going outside and hollering at her does no good at all. Talking to her kindly does no good either. Once she's drunk she's drunk and nothing else matters. Except that she has to YELL to everyone who walks by about what a fun time she's having. People move in, get fed up, and move out. I think the landlord keeps her here bk they make money by then keeping desperate running tenants' security deposits. They will make a good grand on me, bk I'm leaving as soon as I can and I've paid well into June rent. Plus they have a 2-months security deposit I gave when I moved in, I'll probably never see it. That's the business model all over USA now. There is nothing in my lease about how the deposit will be returned. Can't wait to check out of this shit hole, literally, where if you flush your toilet paper, the shit comes up from a hole in front of your door. Aargh, people are making money off of this building, a company in China owns it, YAY USA hope I can just tune out the rest of the city once I get in Senior Housing. I'll see my neighbor now and then bk the bus passes near here. I'll watch her wrinkle and age and get a snarlier look on her face over the next year. but soon I won't have to listen to her BS billowing in my window and filling my life with her chaos, shouting with several people around her going waaawaa waa agreeing with her. She is a perpetual motion machine that keeps drugs and booze in her house by keeping people from the street in her house. Soon I won't have to witness this anymore, yeah. Last few days it's been especially bad bk she goes after visiting children like a Grimm's Fairy Tale witch. Those tenants will likely move out next month too, bk no one will do anything about the crazy drunk lady who literally CRASHES family events other tenants are trying to have and starts touching and playing with the children. Can't wait to go where I don't have to witness this anymore.
Yesterday other tenants were trying to have a family party and there was Banshee on Crack hollering and singing getting right in the middle of it going "ring around the rosy" with the children. I don't get why people let her near their kids. It literally makes me sick can't wait will have my move in date today I think.
I think those kids will have nightmares about her the rest of their life. This woman looks like a cat who's been run over and somehow got up and kept going. She reeks of stale cigarettes and malt liquor
She looks like the momma in Throw Momma from the Train, literally.
She was pretty
and blond 2 years ago and has deteriorated to Momma on the train. I'll have to drop by the neighborhood now
and then to see how much more awful she's gotten to look.
*
Perhaps Earth’s fate is to be a planet of short round laughing people, licking their fingers from Kentucky Fried, farting to produce electricity, and shouting racist jokes at each other, BUT making each other laugh while blowing up own nukes. Maybe we all need to be like Trump and shout politically incorrect jokes at each other so we can end up loving each other, as long as there's plenty of fast food around. Chocolate cake, don’t forget the chocolate cake. The whole planet will be Trumpified, loving our chocolate cake, thinking our race is best but fucking everyone and anyone in meantime … why not.
*
Packing, found notes I had on refrigerator about 1.5 years ago when I decided to wait on moving to Canada: “You're safe here, wait until June 2018 then see what happens.”
Well. .
***
I keep watching film linked below over and over on YouTube, probably because whatever economic thing we're entering, movies about The Great Depression suddenly seem current.
"They Shoot Horses Don’t They?" I found two uploads of the 1969 film but Disney recently took the other one down, claiming it contained some content they own. This one will probably only last a few more months because Disney doesn't have enough money…
Watching Red Buttons do a Desperate for pennies Tap Dance is reason enough to watch this film at 14:10 in video.Also I spring for YouTube Red so I get it with no ads. The version without Red may have lots of ad breaks. It's worth it to buy YouTube Red as one’s brain can only take so much.
Well. .
***
I keep watching film linked below over and over on YouTube, probably because whatever economic thing we're entering, movies about The Great Depression suddenly seem current.
"They Shoot Horses Don’t They?" I found two uploads of the 1969 film but Disney recently took the other one down, claiming it contained some content they own. This one will probably only last a few more months because Disney doesn't have enough money…
Watching Red Buttons do a Desperate for pennies Tap Dance is reason enough to watch this film at 14:10 in video.Also I spring for YouTube Red so I get it with no ads. The version without Red may have lots of ad breaks. It's worth it to buy YouTube Red as one’s brain can only take so much.
Posted by
Kay Ebeling
Writing City of Angels Blog since 2007, not just from L.A., as the city of angels is everywhere.
Producing City of Angels Blog since Jan. 2007, first as coverage of the pedophile priest crisis in the Catholic Church as one of the survivors, then 30 other topics at CofA 1-30
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)