Saturday, February 20, 2016

Wowee, scary (Bob Dylan, I Shall Be Free No. 10)

    Right and left my news feed is full of stuff that makes me just go WTF is happening to America and Americans. Wow. Hate running amok, conspiracy easier to believe than taking time to find out the truth, knee-jerk knee-jerk knee-jerk, total control of the message by the one percent all the way from networks, and once-revered newspapers, to the trolls commenting on FB posts. I feel like I'm in a very bad dream, no, I wish this was all just a very bad dream. What is the force behind this? It almost makes me believe in Satan... a power of evil ingratiating itself on multiple levels. Making me scared to go out my door, who will I encounter... repulsed by news stories but compelled to keep reading, as I think part of how this works is for smart people to get so turned off they tune out. Molesting priest getsreinstated after serving a short sentence, and Trump rises to the presidency. . . WTF.  Meanwhile watching movies and reading books about the 1930s in Germany, the rise of Hitler, and seeing way too many similarities. scary, really scary. There were smart people at the dawn of Fascism in Germany who, as their friends and neighbors signed on with Hitler, could see what was developing but had no power to stop it . I feel like one of them.
    I find myself watching Law and Order reruns over and over again bk as a crime victim, the show gives me a sense of completeness and closure that I NEVER got from the American justice system. If only Benson and Stabler existed in real life.
    Yes I've noticed this
    feeling a weird sense of doom and fear. Keep getting turned down for apartments that I can afford, my credit is fine, my rental history is perfect. Wondering what is going on. Is it bk they don't want to rent to an elderly person? Is it that I'm too fat? WTF. Then there's the weird stuff with my settlement, the games the archbishop of Chicago lawyers are still playing with me. I'm in this weird state of limbo where nothing seems to work, no matter what I do. Endless rejection is not good for a person's self esteem at all. Then there's the weird neurological pain I'm having everywhere that no doctor seems to know how to address. What's going on? Why do I keep being ignored? Why doesn't my own daughter answer my messages? Am I even still here?
    Jo Miller You are on the brink of writing a lyric suitable for Pink floyd.

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