Tuesday, October 16, 2012

I feel like a Tim Burton character, Auto Immune Syndrome part 2

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A lot of my parts are makeshift right now.  My teeth, my hair, my infections that are causing huge whitehead like bumps in various places. (Continuation of Me and My Immune Syndrome posted this AM. Part 3 Body Parts Falling Off posted this PM) 

The top front four teeth I got capped in 1983.  In my mouth today are those same four caps, discolored and chipped as they are.  Back in 2004, when Lizzie and I lived at The Lighthouse shelter on Sunset Boulevard, the first of the front caps came loose.  I sneezed one day and it flew across the kitchen, making a roomful of homeless women laugh.  Since then I've been poly-gripping that cap back in.  A few years ago the second of the four front tooth caps came loose in the same way.  So now I have two caps that I have to stop everything several times a day and apply denture adhesive to so I can place them back on the stubs. 

You can be sitting with me sharing an order of French fries in a restaurant and all of a sudden I will pull out my front tooth apply some glue, and stick it back into my mouth onto what's left of the stub…

Actually there are almost no stubs left at all from those four front teeth.  They've rotted away, that's why the caps are loose to begin with.  So I have to glue the caps to the gum, which is why I have to re-glue the caps into my mouth so often, the glue on the gum only lasts maybe two hours, hence I have poly-grip stuff everywhere around the house, extra tubes in every purse.  It's a calamity if I'm out and about and the caps start falling out.  When that happens, with every word I say, I whistle.  

So all day long whatever I'm doing I have to stop, take my loose cap off one of my front teeth, apply denture fixative, and replace it in my mouth. 

In addition:

I've been cutting my hair myself for about five years as I get totally panicked at the idea of letting anyone get as close to me as a hairdresser gets.  Oh, I forgot to mention, as a pedophile priest victim, I'm already full of obsessions and compulsions that make little sense. 

In my reality TV job, I once had to watch hours of video showing closeups of a makeover hairstylist cutting women’s hair and I  learned how to snip and layer, sort of.

So I imitate what the reality TV hairstylist did, with my hands just feeling their way around the back of my head.  I really have no idea how uneven and out of balance the cut is in back of my head, I don't have a mirror that lets me see the back of my head while I'm trimming it.  So I just throw my fingers into the strands of hair back there and clip where it feels right. 

In addition:

I'm supposed to be using lots of mouthwash for the rotting teeth and gums, but I keep forgetting, so there are a lot of rotting teeth in my mouth.  I'm trying to save up to have all my teeth pulled and then get dentures.  I think once I get on Medicare next August they'll pay for the tooth pulling, then I just have to pay for the dentures, so it's probably best to wait. 

I get health insurance next August, this is October.  So the teeth and gums will just keep on rotting until then. 

Happy Times in Third World America
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